Be on the alert for an older gentleman pushing a baby carriage on the sidewalks of Chino Hills.... My wife Jo Ellen ran into him in front of our house and noticed there was no baby in the carriage. She asked where his baby was and he said there is no baby, the carriage was for lemons. He came to pick the lemons for our next-door neighbors. Turns out he doesn't even know our neighbors. Jo explained that our neighbors are very generous but he may want to ask before clearing all the lemons off their tree.  Last year someone stripped every lime off the tree in our front yard, over 100 limes. We just may have found the culprit.... never did find a lemonade stand or a single margarita. Be on the lookout, I have a Tanqueray and Tonic in need of a lime slice.

Despite these isolated incidents, I feel relaxed and pretty safe here in Chino Hills.  

A turning factor is the recent hands-on training our police department had in regard to massage parlors.  I can imagine the tranquility Chino Hills may have with so many massage parlors within our city limits and the nirvana brought on by their services.  On a per capita basis there are more than enough relaxation pressure points to make for a stress-free city.  Though the police training is ongoing, I was able to speak candidly with Detective Richard Longsleeves.  He spoke of the diligence required in the undercover work investigating massage parlors.  He likes to call this by the code name “undertowel” because each officer has only his bath towel, badge, and wits on these risqué, I mean risky assignments.  So far there have been no arrests, but self-assessment tests of the police task force showed outstanding scores for lower tension and heightened alertness.  

For an opposing point of view for this story, a massage parlor was randomly selected.  “Lucky Massage” would have been too easy, so I selected VIP Foot Resort.  The proprietress, Ming Xiu Zhen, who goes by the name “Kitten” was more than happy to talk about the services at VIP Foot Resort.  I tried to break the ice with a little humor; do you charge by the inch?  What if I only had three toes on one of my feet?  Will my other body parts get jealous if only my feet are massaged?

After giving me a quizzical look she offered to show me firsthand.  I was not expecting this; I had missed my pedicure back in September.  But Kitten made me feel comfortable, she just wondered why I was only wearing a towel for a foot massage.

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